Golden Globes red carpet recap

Ah, the Golden Globes- a night of pure talent, wonderful speeches...just kidding, we all know it's about who's wearing what.  In general, I didn't find that dresses were overly outrageous or tacky...just some casual "questionable" decisions in judgement.  Hits on the left side, Misses on the right.  What do you think?

The style of the night seemed to be the mermaid dress, and the talk of the town was that Modern Family's Sofia Vergara wore it best, flaunting those curves.  A deep sea turquoise and a feathered texture really screamed sea princess.  Pretty sure that her dress would've even had actual mermaids jealous. 

In contrast to a well-fitted mermaid dress, Tina Fey's ensemble made her look more like a stubby sea urchin, proving that the mermaid isn't an easy to look to pull off and that it's not for everyone.

Oh look, another mermaid dress. Ruffles and creamy pastels made for quite an elegant look for Elle MacPherson. Quite radiant, no? I'll admit it, she's my girl-crush of the night.

Julianna Margulies may be The Good Wife, but in no way is she a good red carpet dresser. Her dress is somewhere between a simplistic futuristic spacesuit and a stick of licorice...

Nicole Kidman is quite a red carpet favourite of mine, and she does it again. This time, in a lovely Versace number. Just take a look at those embellishments!

I'm not a fan of this full black and blue dress of Michelle Williams. Sporting a spotty Jason Wu dress, I kind of feel like the design looks like a leopard print knockoff that looks more tacky than elegant. Props for trying to be bold though.

I'm a bit on the fence with this one, but I'll add it to my Hit List for its unique layers and divine train. Charlize Theron seems to be channelling her inner Marilyn here with a modern twist to the classic deep-V neckline and flowing hem.

Is it just me, or does Natalie Portman look like she's heading to her high school prom in a cheap gown that really doesn't flatter her figure? C'mon, Black Swan, we know you can do better than that- you're not supposed to be turning into an ugly duckling!

Heidi Klum does simplicity right! A simple straight cut dress with a pop of turquoise around the neckline? Yes, please!

Jessica Biel looks like she's wearing one of those old rustic wedding gowns from the 40s that has been stitched together in tablecloth-like fabric...and left in an old dusty trunk in the attic for too long. Sorry, you ended up more frumpy than fashionable.

More mermaid-y and not-quite-white gown goodness; this time from Kate Beckinsale. This simple gown sports some light lacey detailing and a beautiful flowing hem. The sparkling bracelets add some extra icing to this deliciously creamy number.

American Horror Story actress Connie Britton appeared in this simple number. Dear, a dress like that is quite an American horror in itself. Don't ya know that this is the Golden Globes, not a casual town gathering? Class it up a little!

Bridesmaids star Kristen Wiig rocked a beautiful and simple skin-tone dress for a soft and modest presence. If you're gonna go simple, take it from her and aim for a subtle edge in the dress- get a load of that ruched tie around the waistline!

And for my ultimate "DO NOT ATTEMPT", showing us how not to do the mermaid, or hair, or sleeves, or a dress in general...is Kelly Osborne.  I feel like the photo speaks for itself, but here we go:

So, Miss Osborne, do you think that white hair will make you look more mature or something?  Whatever the reason is, don't do it again.  And okay, we get it- you lost a ton of weight and the mermaid dress does flatter a figure, but not when the shaped sleeves and puffy hem make it look like one of those inflatable octopuses at a kids play park.  Ladies and gentlemen, this is what we call attracting unwanted attention for all the wrong things.

Images via The Hollywood Reporter